Components of a Satisfying Marriage
What can married couples do to keep their marriage satisfactory for both partners? How can they strengthen the bondedness between them? What necessary components provide a maintenance guide for couples who want to keep their marriages in working order? Some of them are:
1. TRUST. Trust is usually built on mutual respect and acceptance of differentness. Developing a sense of trust means that both persons will do what they say they will do, and will not do and say things that violate the integrity of the relationship.
2. COMMITMENT. This is vital to a marriage. When it is taken for granted, vitality can disappear from the relationship. If a spouse uses the commitment "so long as we both shall live" as an excuse to quit working at the marriage, it will not live as long as the individuals. Once a couple commits themselves to the adventure of married life, this commitment will help them walk in the valleys and face crises as well as climb to the mountaintop together.
3. SKILLS. Marriage as a lifetime process demands that both partners be skillful at understanding others, expressing needs, listening to each other, making decisions, negotiating and managing conflict and having meaningful communication. Also, someone needs to know how to earn a living, how to cook, how to care for the house, and how to parent.
4. CARING. Nurturant love exists when, meeting the needs of your partner is just as important as having your own needs met. Caring means being supportive of each individual's growth and personal interests as well as caring for the relationship as well.
5. RECIPROCITY. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This means exchanging positive rewards and "strokes" with each other. It means avoiding those experiences which may hurt your partner and have an extremely detrimental effect on your relationship. It involves "meshing" of the various roles in the relationship and helping each other as each fulfills these roles.
6. EFFORT. All the trust, commitment, skills, and caring are not very productive without effort. Effort means taking time to work on your marriage. It means being willing to work together to develop a mutually satisfying relationship. It means participating in marital growth experiences to expand and enhance the relationship.
7. EXPECTATIONS. One reason for marital dissatisfaction is that couples expect a great deal from marriage. Wives and husbands often have unrealistic expectations about what marriage should provide them. Most people expect their spouse to be a source of emotional support, companionship, sexual satisfaction, and economic support or assistance. That's a pretty big order! The gap between expectation and perceived performance produces disappointment, discouragement and finally, disillusionment.
1. TRUST. Trust is usually built on mutual respect and acceptance of differentness. Developing a sense of trust means that both persons will do what they say they will do, and will not do and say things that violate the integrity of the relationship.
2. COMMITMENT. This is vital to a marriage. When it is taken for granted, vitality can disappear from the relationship. If a spouse uses the commitment "so long as we both shall live" as an excuse to quit working at the marriage, it will not live as long as the individuals. Once a couple commits themselves to the adventure of married life, this commitment will help them walk in the valleys and face crises as well as climb to the mountaintop together.
3. SKILLS. Marriage as a lifetime process demands that both partners be skillful at understanding others, expressing needs, listening to each other, making decisions, negotiating and managing conflict and having meaningful communication. Also, someone needs to know how to earn a living, how to cook, how to care for the house, and how to parent.
4. CARING. Nurturant love exists when, meeting the needs of your partner is just as important as having your own needs met. Caring means being supportive of each individual's growth and personal interests as well as caring for the relationship as well.
5. RECIPROCITY. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This means exchanging positive rewards and "strokes" with each other. It means avoiding those experiences which may hurt your partner and have an extremely detrimental effect on your relationship. It involves "meshing" of the various roles in the relationship and helping each other as each fulfills these roles.
6. EFFORT. All the trust, commitment, skills, and caring are not very productive without effort. Effort means taking time to work on your marriage. It means being willing to work together to develop a mutually satisfying relationship. It means participating in marital growth experiences to expand and enhance the relationship.
7. EXPECTATIONS. One reason for marital dissatisfaction is that couples expect a great deal from marriage. Wives and husbands often have unrealistic expectations about what marriage should provide them. Most people expect their spouse to be a source of emotional support, companionship, sexual satisfaction, and economic support or assistance. That's a pretty big order! The gap between expectation and perceived performance produces disappointment, discouragement and finally, disillusionment.
Labels: marriage
posted by silky love | 4:09 AM
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